Friday, November 7, 2008

Satan's Favorite Agent

COLORADO HERE I COME!
Well, folks, I'm heading to Denver again. Unfortunately, mom is still having a rough time. Family and friends are doing a phenomenal job caring for her, but I think it will help if I can drive her to the doctor (she's getting daily IV antibiotics), make breakfast (stop laughing - I actually know how to cook an egg), and do laundry. But, as Lewis Black would say, "have no fear my precious snowflakes!" For, I will continue this fascinating and informative blog in the land of many mountains...

POST ELECTION DRAMA
No, this is not about my neighbor, at least not the one two doors down. On Wednesday afternoon I was purchasing a few bottles of lovely, full-bodied red wines for our victory party later that night. The elderly, white guy who was next in line, asked what I was celebrating. "Our new president!" I said. He replied, "I hate to tell you this, but you just voted for Satan." I actually laughed out loud and told him that was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. He went on to explain that Obama is a baby killer and truly is the devil. And everyone who voted for him are agents of the devil. (Guilty as charged!) This guy clearly didn't know who he was verbally sparring with. I asked him if he and his peeps were so gung-ho on "saving precious, innocent lives" then why is it OK to shoot bullets into innocent animals for "sport"? He looked a bit flustered and muttered something about animals being lower species than humans. "If that's true," I asked, "then shouldn't we be smarter and more compassionate than them? And, if so, then how is it that hunters like Sarah Palin enjoy blowing their brains out?" He changed tactics and told me that the only people who have abortions are fornicators (duh!) and people having affairs. "Oh, really?" I countered, "What about all the people who neglect or physically abuse their children?" "In God's eyes, all children are in Heaven!" he answered. "Oh, yeah?" I asked, "I bet the kids who are being beaten by their parents think it feels a bit more like hell." And then for fun I added, "And, I bet you just love Sarah Palin!" "Why, yes," he said, "She's a real woman!" I guess I'm just a guy in drag, or maybe Samantha Ronson. The poor gal behind the counter looked like she wanted to crawl under an apolitical rock and die, or at least hide until this stimulating repartee was over. (Oh, and FYI: he mentioned the End of Days is near, so you may want to take that trip to Tahiti you've been putting off.)

VICTORY PARTY - A WILD SUCCESS!
Despite my encounter with the GOP (Grumpy Old Prick), our post-election night party was a blast! I don't know about you, but I am still floating on Obama-inspired air. It's both relaxing and exhilarating - like the afterglow of a great roll in the hay. What a major relief after these last, long, torturous eight years!

For the party, my friend, Joanne, made her famous vegetarian chili, and we had California rolls, hummus, salad, sandwiches, and, of course, soda, wine and beer. (My husband bought the beer and, in the spirit of the evening, chose a case from the Victory Brewery!) We also had a special guest. A full-sized cut-out of the President-Elect! (That's him above with my husband.)

I'd love to hear your election night or post-election night stories. And, if you run into the GOP, tell him Satan's favorite agent sends her love.

Signing off for now my precious snowflakes!

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