SUBLIMINAL FRIDAY: Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I've been sent by your owner to clarify a few things. First of all, please know, she thinks of you often and wishes you nothing but the best. [What-ev]. She knows you've been confused by her sporadic postings, and apologizes profusely. [The only thing she does profusely is eat chocolate.] She hopes people click on your fascinating links and are touched by the [brilliant] words she has [thoughtfully] written. [Time, she adds, that could've been better spent eating, napping, and/or watching Oprah.]

She's sure you read the posts she [painstakingly] writes, so you probably realize her life has been a bit bumpy of late. Hence, the undependable blog postings. Yes, you should feel sorry for her [send Raisinets], but no you shouldn't move in with her and help with the laundry. [Yes, you should.]

If you need her, she's here for you. [She'll be gone 'til Monday.] Feel free to call, text, FB, or Twitter her. She promises to [have her imaginary secretary] get back to you ASAP [if and when she feels like it].

Anyway, enough about her, how's life been treating you? Good? That's great! [Snoring.]

Oh, and one more thing. Your owner told me to tell you she'll be back to regular blogging one day soon. [Is 2015 soon?] She also said she loves you very much and is proud of all you've accomplished. [She never said that.]

So, dear blog, hang in there and know your owner loves you. [It's true. She does.]

Love always times a billion trillion gazillion times infinity,

Your Owner's BFF,
Amelia Genevieve Simone Bardot

[A dead ringer for the love child of George Clooney and Angelina Jolie.] [BWAHAHAHA!!!!]

SUBLIMINAL THURSDAY: The Waiting is the Hardest Part

I know it's not Monday, but subliminal messages come whenever they damn well feel like it, and I have no real control over them. You'll just have to deal with it. [Or not.]

I love Tom Petty, and in my fantasy life, I know him personally. [Yes, in the biblical sense, along with Ashton Kutcher, George Clooney, and Robert Pattinson, though not all at the same time. Hmm, that might not be such a bad idea...] Therefore, I'm allowed to rip off his song lyrics whenever it suits my needs. Like now, for example.

I'm waiting, and it's undoubtedly the freaking hardest part. AA has the fifth draft of my [awesome, Earth-shattering] YA manuscript, and she even claims to be reading it. So far, two beta readers have finished reading this [mind-blowing, put-Twilight-to-shame] draft, and absolutely loved it. Of course, one of those readers was my mom, but unlike other moms who read their kids' books, my mom's opinion counts. Why? Because she's my mom. [I'm a princess, which makes my mom a queen.] The other reader is a 20 year-old, female, YA fanatic, who is my target audience. Theoretically her opinion should count more than my mom's, BUT, she's not my mom, so she's got less street cred. [I had to add this in case my mom ever reads my blog.]

These [resounding] reviews give me a drop of confidence, but we all know that AA's opinion is - at this [every] stage of the game - the only one that matters. [Please don't tell her I said this. I'd hate for her to think she has the upper hand.]

In the meantime, I'm filling my days with important things like playing spider solitaire, napping, tanning by the pool, and searching for a shore house on the internet. [Usually, in that order.] I would be writing, but I'm not one of those [annoyingly gifted] people who can juggle more than one writing project at a time. If I dive full on into the sea of a fresh, new novel [lousy cliche left over from my 7/8 post], then I will have a hard time redirecting my attention back to my current WIP to make whatever revisions AA deems necessary. ["How can a perfect manuscript need revisions?" you ask. GREAT QUESTION! I have no idea, but I'm sure AA will have the answer.] THEREFORE, I wait. And wait. And wait some more.

So, tell me - what are you waiting for in life? An agent? Book deal? New car? House? Different significant other? [You can leave it in the comments. I won't tell.] Whatever it is you're waiting for, I hope it/he/she shows up soon.

After all, I'd like to think I'm not the only one besides Tom [one of my many hot, rich, famous boyfriends] who believes the waiting is, indeed, the hardest part.

True Confessions & Personal Questions

Here's my latest True Confession. Yesterday I ate:

Breakfast: Egg and cheese sandwich from WaWa

Lunch: Popcorn (at Up In the Air)

Dinner: Chocolate Chip Muffin and a glass of OJ (after Avatar)

Um, yeah, sad, but true. So....

I'm hereby declaring December 26th to be: NATIONAL HEALTHY EATING DAY! (Cue inspiring music.)

Join me if you dare!!!

IN OTHER NEWS...
I sent my agent the polished 2nd draft of THE SECRET KEEPER on Thursday AND... I started writing the follow-up yesterday! I wasn't planning on it, but there it was - the first couple of pages. Ah, fresh, new ideas. SQUEE!!!

Our Christmas: We saw UP IN THE AIR - thought provoking, great acting by George Clooney (so what else is new?), ending fell a bit flat, and...

AVATAR (3D!) The MOST incredible special effects known to mankind, great story, some good acting (though I think it could have been better,) long (3 hours) and great political/moral messages.

I love asking personal questions, especially when the answers are juicy! Here are a few for you, my dear readers. Be creative.

How were your holidays?

Did you snag some groovy holiday loot?

Did you get to hang out with those you love?

Did you see any great movies?

Did you have any intense family drama?

Did you laugh a lot?

Do you have any deep, dark secrets you want to share?

Do tell!