Getting Revenge: Voodoo Doll vs Writing

One of the greatest joys of becoming a better writer is helping others along their path. I recently received a request to assist someone with her query and synopsis. She knows I'm deep into editing my novel THE SECRET KEEPER, but felt she could benefit from my expertise. (Hah!)

What I realized while looking at her work is how far I've come in such a short time. In November of last year, I received my first and only request for a partial for LITTLE PEARLS. It was my first book, consisting of a series of quasi-autobiographical vignettes loosely linked together to form a "novel." I worked on it off and on for over 13 years. What was the result of my one and only partial request? A much-deserved rejection. It was terse, something along the lines of, "I was very disappointed in these pages. They were nothing like I hoped they'd be." OUCH!!! (That's how I remember it. I threw the actual rejection away. I don't like having negative juju around.)

Did I consider getting a Voodoo doll with name of said agent that I could mercilessly stick with sharp pins? No! Okay, well maybe for a few, glorious, self-indulgent moments. But ultimately I decided to get even another way: I kept writing.

In the past year, I wrote three and a half novels. (I still hope to turn that 1/2 into a whole one of these days!) The requests for partials and fulls increased with each project, until I landed the most awesome agent in the history of the universe. (My mom always said I was a drama queen. To this day, I don't know what she means.) I'm working hard with my agent (SQUEE!) to get my book ready to go on submission. That is my current and very focused goal.

No matter where you are in the process, concentrate on that. There really is a time to every purpose under heaven. When you're ready, your time will come, the doors will slide open, and your dreams will unfold.

Until then (and forever after), work your ass off!

Snail Mail Query Time

OK, folks. Pimping the query was fun and informative - I learned a lot and feel my query is now stronger than before, which was the whole idea. I've revised it a bit further, but won't bore you with the additional changes. Suffice it to say, it rocks. At least I think it rocks. Professional opinions may vary.

Speaking of professional opinions, I've done a pretty good job of e-querying the agents I'm interested in. Now it's time for the ever-popular snail-mail approach. I'm so excited to be spending the next few days at my desk-top computer trudging, I mean joyfully flitting (is that even a word?) through the submissions guidelines of various agents who've decided saving trees is secondary to the unmatchable feel of paper in your hands. I can't blame them, really. I imagine reading through countless queries in your e-mail box gets old after a while (like about ten minutes) and makes you want to drink more. After all, we're writers and writing is published in books and books are made out of paper! Yeah, that's the ticket! Well, not counting Kindle, etc., but you get my point. Plus, my friend, Wendy, recently snagged herself a class-act of an agent via snail mail, and who am I to argue with success?

BTW: Hop on over to Book Roast today where they're having a fun, little St. Paddy's Day contest. Pitch your idea utilizing "luck" in 75 words or less. I drank a few green beers and threw my leprechaun's hat in the ring. Even if you don't play, you can comment on those who are stupid, I mean courageous enough, to do so. (Plus, you can always read through the pitches, laugh your ass off, and - when appropriate - refill the green beer keg.)

Enjoy your St. Patrick's Day! And, where are YOU wearing your green today?

(All I'll say is my green is part of a beautiful floral arrangement. Where those flowers are is for me to know and, if I'm LUCKY, my husband to figure out!)

Pimp My Query: Choice Give-Away - It's Picture Perfect!

CHANGE OF END DATE FOR QUERY SUBMISSION COMMENTS: Due to a romantic night in Atlantic City tomorrow (dinner, tickets to see the hilarious Lewis Black, and a night at the Marriott) I'm extending the expiration date for comments on my query to Saturday at 5PM. So, you still have time to be included in the random drawing for the AMAZING prizes listed below. OK, the prizes may not be all that amazing, but the feedback I'm getting most definitely is. ETERNAL THANKS TO THOSE WHO'VE COMMENTED SO FAR!!! My query is really starting to rock! (Pun intended.) Stay tuned for the revised query to be posted before the end of the weekend.

OK, folks. I'm going to follow in the illustrious and incredibly well-read footsteps of my blogging buddy Anita. I'm going to post my query and let you critique away. Although I've received some wonderful requests for partials, I have no doubt my query could be infinitely better. In order to make it worth your while, (and in honor of my 75th post!) I'm having my very first give-away. From now until 5PM SATURDAY THE 14TH everyone who comments will have an opportunity to be randomly selected by my totally hot and completely impartial (not to be confused with "clueless") husband. If you are the lucky winner, you will have the choice between these two amazing "picture-perfect" themed prizes:

This ever-so-lovely 4"x6" photo album, brand spankin' new, still got the plastic wrap around it, folks. Or... This adorable set of kitty picture holders (Angie - I added these especially for you wink*wink*.)

Now, I will post said query below. Please be gentle but firm (sounds like what I tell my husband, um, never mind...) and most of all BE HONEST!!! I'd love to make this the best damn query this side of the Big Pond (that's the Atlantic, for those of you westerners and/or foreigners who look a bit confused.)

SPARKS FLY SOMETIMES: CONFESSIONS OF A ROCK PRINCESS is the story of a rock princess turned domestic goddess turned rock princess, and is in the genre of women's fiction/humor. Written in a voice similar to that of Chelsea Handler, bestselling author, comedienne, and television show host, the manuscript is complete at 83,000 words. Several requested partial submissions are currently under review.

Jenny Sampson's wild adventures as a rock and roll singer take her back and forth between L.A. and her family's hometown of Denver. It is there that she and her long-haired musician husband, Nate, form a band that rocks its way to the top of the local music scene. Though eager to break out onto the national stage, after years of setbacks and disappointments, financial security wins out over artistic uncertainty, and Jenny and Nate take a very wide turn from music to medicine. As the ever-supportive wife, Jenny incorporates her "BJ's for A's" program, offering sexual favors for every "A" Nate receives. He graduates from college and medical school touting big honors and an even bigger smile.

However, Jenny's experience as a rock princess in the Denver music scene does nothing to prepare her for life as a domestic goddess in the suburbs of Philly. As Jenny and her family settle into a McMansion in the 'burbs, her country-club lifestyle holds many surprises including a beautiful assistant DA interested in a threesome, a wealthy heiress who has great, big, perfectly made-up eyes for Nate, and a handsome, British rock club owner who falls hard for Jenny. These spicy temptations, along with her renewed longing for rock stardom, keep the sparks flying and put Jenny's marriage and desire to follow her dreams to the test.

My life as a professional singer/songwriter/musician and doctor's wife and mother of two are the inspiration behind this novel. My music has been featured on TV, radio, and on Broadjam.com's Top 10 lists internationally, and I write articles as the Philadelphia Songwriter Examiner on Examiner.com. I recently attended the Algonkian Pitch and Shop Conference, an on-line workshop with agent Noah Lukeman, and will be attending the Backspace Writer's Workshop in New York City this May.

I will be happy to send you a partial submission or the full manuscript for SPARKS FLY SOMETIMES: CONFESSIONS OF A ROCK PRINCESS at your request.

Thank you so much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Debbie Schubert
(Contact Info)

OK, I've got my boxing gloves on. Give it to me, baby!

True Love

Where Are You, Big D?

First of all, a heartfelt thanks to each and every one of you who has either left a message on my blog or e-mailed, or sent prayers re: Dusty's safe return. Unfortunately, we have not found him yet. Chuck took the day off from work, and Ethan took the day off from school. We put up flyers, called the local authorities (police, SPCA, vet offices) and did a lot of driving around looking. I am trying not to think about the cold weather and instead think about my beautiful cat finding his way home. We took helpful advice such as leaving food out and even our dirty laundry (a basket of towels that Dusty loves to fall asleep in). This gives a whole new meaning to airing our dirty laundry. Although we still have five cats roaming the halls of our normally happy home, it is so obvious that something is missing. Please continue to keep Dusty in your thoughts and prayers. I'll keep you posted.

Here's a great clip that cheered me up a bit. I hope you enjoy it. (Sorry about the commercial that plays first. Hang in there, it's worth it.)
Tara & Bella

It's Agent Query Time!

As far as my novel goes, I'm querying agents slowly but surely. I feel very fortunate that two have requested a partial submission, but I'm well aware it's a long way from here to getting published. Until I've secured an agent who I'm on the same page with (I know, hilarious) like Eddie Kendricks of The Temptations said, I'll keep on trucking, baby. Of course, that was in 1973, long before I was born, but the sentiment is right on. (It's OK to lie on my blog, isn't it?)

Again, please keep those Dusty prayers and good wishes coming. I hope more than anything I'll soon have good news to report. As crazy as it sounds, I'd rather have my baby back than have my book published. That, my friends, is true love.