Leave Your Ghosts in the Dust

Announcement: Slow and steady has left the building, and a big 'ole roller coaster has taken its place.

Along with the fluctuating temperatures and my weight, my moods have been up and down, high and low, euphoric and devastating.

Has my life always been this way and I somehow hadn't noticed? Or, has the emotional roller coaster I've been hanging onto for dear life over the past few years blurred my sense of reality? I'm not sure, but I do know life has been atypically bumpy, and it's making me dizzy.

Lately, I find myself spending an inordinate amount of time questioning the path my life has taken and wondering at what point I will feel whole and complete again. At times, bitterness, anger, and intense sadness cloud my insanely beautiful life. The frustrating part is knowing I have the power to change my thoughts, but not doing it every time the bad ones invade.

This is one of the great mysteries of being human: knowing we have powers, yet not utilizing them to our best ability. Why do we do this? Who knows. Maybe it's too hard to face the possibility of our absolute magnificence.

Thankfully, I'm an optimist at heart, so it doesn't usually take too long to grapple my way out of my self-imposed dungeon. I remember the importance of placing one foot in front of the other, and, by doing that, I realize there are many things to learn from the crescendos and decrescendos of my ever-changing emotions.

For example:

1) Experiencing the ups and downs of life is part of the human condition. It's "normal."

2) Moving forward after a major breakdown can be both euphoric and depressing; often within the same day or even the same hour. Don't just deal with the craziness of your emotions; revel in them. They prove you're alive. Free. Changing. Growing.

3) The people who stand by you during the insanity of a major life change are golden/priceless/irreplaceable/saint-like. Thank them often. Let them know how special they are. Buy them wine and chocolate.

4) It takes time to reprogram your vision of how you believed your life would be. The sooner you're able to leave your ghosts in the dust, the sooner you'll be able to create a richer life with new relationships, goals, and dreams.

5) Be appreciative of every minute of every day. Remember, the stronger the challenge, the stronger you'll be once you get through it.

6) Trust yourself. Love yourself. Be your best friend.

Moving on often entails experiencing excruciating feelings of sadness, abandonment, jealousy, and anger. But dealing with difficult emotions has its rewards, like letting you know how deeply you can feel; how joyously you can dream; how passionately you can love.

Don't let the roller coaster slam you against an emotional wall. Ride it until it slows and gently lets you off in a quieter place; a more peaceful place; a place where you can get your bearings; a place where you can begin, once again, to create something beautiful, lasting, and unimaginable.

Trust yourself. Place one foot in front of the other. Leave your ghosts in the dust.

Have you had a period of emotional turbulence you thought you couldn't get through? If so, how did you overcome it?

Love Thy Novel as Thyself or What to Save? What to Shave?

Ah, edits. Aren't they fun? Kind of reminds me of getting a root canal or being the last to be picked for a team in school. However, without these dreaded edits, we'd have nothing more than freakish-looking first drafts, laden with poetic drivel and lacking things like "riveting plots," "intelligible dialogue," and "meaningful characterizations."

Mine the Diamonds
I'm deep into my third draft of my YA novel, and finally feel I'm hitting my stride - a stride that will take my black and white sketch to a completed masterpiece. Yes, I know that sounds a bit "puffy," but if I didn't feel I could dig deep and mine the diamonds in my story, why write it?

Love Thy Novel as Thyself
You should feel the same way, too. Love your work profoundly and passionately. No one will or should love your work more than you do. It is that love that keeps us writing, keeps us going in the middle of our first drafts when we want to hit the "delete" key, and it is that love that keeps us from giving up on our long held dreams.

So, what's a writer to do? How do we know what to save and what to shave?
I'm 1/3 of the way through my revisions, and I've cut 13 full pages out so far. That's some serious shaving. It's also some serious saving, since I've kept - in one form or another - 73 pages. My best advice is "trust yourself." If you're questioning a word, sentence, paragraph, scene, or even a whole chapter, delete it and see if the story becomes weaker or stronger. That's why God created the Control X keys; you can take things out, and if you decide otherwise, put them back in again.

For my first two novels, I was so reluctant to eliminate any of my brilliant words, that I had "Outtakes" documents which held onto every, single, precious word I wrote and removed. Now, I save only completed drafts. The thoughts and ideas that come and go in between those drafts are lost in the ether, and I say, "good riddance!" As a writer, and as a healthy human being, you have to be able to let things go.

What are your stories about what to save and what to shave? Do you have trouble killing your darlings, or are you a literary Jack the Ripper? What have you learned from the process?

Vlog update: Found a better deal on Amazon (saved $65!), so I returned my Flip and am waiting for a different one. So, video blogging is briefly postponed.