I've decided to make SUBLIMINAL MONDAY a regular part of my repertoire. [Cue wild cheering.] Just so you now, said "subliminal messages" will appear within said brackets [ ]. I love saying "said" - it sounds so proper/elegant/formal [stupid], so if you prefer not to read these messages or feel they are "of the devil" [freak!], please feel free to skip over these [important] messages. (Did you catch the "message" in the picture above?)
I have no one but myself to blame [LiteraryJules] for this brilliant idea. [What the hell have I got myself into?] I don't have any "regular" features on my blog because I like to be spontaneous - it keep things fresh and interesting [allows for frequent naps]. In lo [that's the first time I've used "lo" in a sentence] my many years of blogging [15 months], I've never felt compelled to have structure. I mean, why bother? It's like so totally constricting, dude! [Like, OMG, I hate rules!] But, 2010 is MY year [humor me, I'm a first-born], so I figured, why the hell not? [Great point!]For the first installment of SUBLIMINAL MONDAY, I've decided to discuss my shiny new work in progress. It's a "companion piece" to THE SECRET KEEPER, which means it's not a sequel, but a related story with some of the same characters. I know this term because I'm a savvy writer. [Julie Nelson told me. It was news to me.]
Writing my new book is a [crap shoot] process. Here are the three main steps I take to insure mega-awesomeness when writing:
First of all, I am completely organized, creative, and available for surprises. I always [never] have a detailed outline which I follow to a tee. [You can't follow something that doesn't exist.]
Secondly, I meditate for at least ten minutes before each writing session. [If you believe that, I've got some swamp land in Jersey we should discuss...] This allows my muse to stop whatever she's doing [playing polo in the English countryside with Prince Henry, perhaps?] and locate me. I find that meditation is good for the soul as well as the writing portion of the brain ["writing portion of the brain" BWAHAHAHA!], so I always take time and nurture my meditation skill. [It takes no skill to meditate. You close your eyes and try not to fall asleep. Any Joe Six Pack can do it.]
Lastly, I sit down at my computer - I call her Jezebel - [yeah, she's as hot /creepy as Bette Davis] and start writing. This is the wonderful piece of the artistic process where I let my mind wander freely to create exciting, beautiful, magical worlds with fascinating, never-before-imagined characters [there's no such thing as an original thought]. As the words flow seamlessly [like pulling a 300-lb guerrilla around by it's teeth] my noble dream of novel-writing begins to take shape. If you've never tried it, you should. It's a holy experience. [Particularly if you're a masochistic sociopath.]I hope you've found this first edition of SUBLIMINAL MONDAY helpful. I know I've enjoyed writing it. [I got up early for this? What? You mean 10:30AM isn't early?] I hope you'll spread the word and visit "Write on Target" every Monday for the rest of your natural life. That's not too much to ask, is it? [I like to keep my goals realistic. In 2010, I plan on being crowned Miss America and piling (at least) 100 million dollars in the bank.]
Happy New Year to all! Thanks for making 2009 special. I can't wait to see what we all accomplish in 2010![No, seriously, I mean it. Thanks so much. You guys ROOOCCCKKK!!!!!! ;-)]
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